Panty Robbery

30 Apr

People are often skeptical about Mavis’ profession.  Who wouldn’t be?  I mean, taking off your wooden leg and beating your pet hippo, gingerly I might add, into submission, is not your typical day job.  But you have to understand that Mavis isn’t doing it because she needs the money.  No, she does it because she loves  it.  Every day when she wakes up, she ties on her handcrafted mahogany leg, polishes it, and thinks, “I can’t wait to go to my job!”  Can you say that?  Not many people can.  Also, every day is a little different.  She doesn’t just pound on a hippo every day.  The menagerie she works for gives her various duties each day.  She’s also the children’s favorite attraction if you can imagine.  Her costumes are exquisite.  Everyone gets so excited when she takes off her panties and strangles the hippo until she plops to the ground. (Animal activists don’t go berzerko reading this…you do understand that this is all an act, a circus trick…Mavis loves her hippo.  She actually never hurts the animal.  The hippo has a name…Gertrude.  Every night, Mavis bathes her in the finest European soaps, lathers her up real nice.  She puts perfumes oils on her and gives her massages.  Gertrude is such a great actress, that the crowd actually believes she’s getting hurt.  What a great gag huh?  Anyway, Mavis and Gertrude are the best of friends, and Mave tells her all of her secrets.  One time, Mavis’ panties all got stolen and Gertrude helped by identifying the robbers and then bopping them over the head!  Sometimes, Gertrude will even stash panties in her mouth when Mavis is smuggling foreign ones across the border!   That’s what friends are for!

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