Reverse Fairy Tale

30 Apr

Once upon a time, there was a lonely clown. Her name was Upa. She lived in a circus in a country far far away. It was her dream to find a fancy circus with bright lights and sound machines that would whisk her away into a new amazing adventure. Upa’s circus was dark and grim. A world of confusion, rotten smells and sexual predators. If only she could leave this evil place and find her perfect glittering circus! One day, a small boy on a donkey accidently stumbled into this seedy circus. Poor boy! If a child got lost into these circus grounds, their fate was bad. Needless to say, the goblins came out of the tents and started to grab the little one. Upa couldn’t stand it any longer. She screamed a blood curdling scream, and the goblins stopped suddenly. They had never heard Upa react this way. They thought that maybe if she was this upset, then they should eat her instead. Besides, all that racket hurt their precious goblin ears. But, you see, Upa had a plan to fool the Goblins. As the monsters crept closer she dug deeper in her pocket. She gathered only the best ammunition to kill these goblins! One by one she grabbed the panty sling shots out of her pockets. Each was strategically loaded with a large rock. She motioned to the little boy to join in, and, together, they had a panty slinging-fest. Rocks were catapulting through the air like missiles. The goblins were crouching into the fetal position. They were defeated before they could even see what hit them! After the goblins were all slaughtered, Upa and her new friend headed West to find a more cheerful circus. She earned it! This is a true story. (I swear)

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