Skinny Dippin’ With Horses

30 Apr

I wasn’t sure what happened to our lovely heroine. She hadn’t called in a few days, and we usually have tea on Tuesdays. I was beginning to get extremely worried. The neighbors were getting rather snoopy too. They came over and let me know that Gertrude was alone in her cage and looking quite pale. Well, as pale as a hippo is capable of looking anyway. So, I mustered up some energy, and decided that as Mave’s assistant, it was my duty to figure out what all the hoopla was about. I put on my swankiest dress (so as not to stir up any kind of gossip), and headed out into the hood. I searched high and low for Ms. Rose. I looked in all of her usual hiding places. She wasn’t even at the local lingerie shop! I was stumped! Where the hell was she? At Gertrude’s cage, I felt so sad for the giant animal. She really missed her best friend. There really weren’t any clues laying around for me to help guess the whereabouts of Mave. I thought maybe the Siamese twins would know something, so I gave it a try. They told me the last time they saw her, she was skinny dippin’ in the horse trough with Gertie. Ewww! I don’t know, but maybe she lost her mind! Well, I then proceeded to check the local loony bins. No luck there either! Several days went by, and I received a letter in a yellow and purple spotted envelope. There was no return address. It was a letter from Mavis. It read:
Dear Assistant:
Please let everyone back home know that I have taken a much needed leave of absence. I apologize for the hasty departure, however, I felt that if I hadn’t left when I did, I may have lost my marbles. Please take care of Gertrude, and tell her I am so sorry for leaving her. I will return as soon as I am well. Sincerely, Mavis Rose Sinclair

So, as you all can see, Mavis is merely gone on the account of finding sound mind. Our panty-wheelin’ hippo trainin’ lady will be back shortly. Just have patience!
Sincerely, Mavis’ personal assistant

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