Archive | May, 2010

Elgina, The Tightroping Narcoleptic

11 May

We have a new addition to our circus folks! She was recommended to us by Adelaide the Magnificent! She walked in, and we looked her up and down. “Not a freak”, we thought. “Not an animal”, we thought. In our minds, it was difficult to decide what this young lady could possibly be. We invited her to dinner that night. She chatted and smiled amicably, told us her name was “Elgina”. Hmmmm, a very old fashioned name. I liked it. “Maybe she’s old”, I thought. As the night waxed on we all became suspicious… And I noted that she did not drink. “How odd,” I thought. After supper, I took her aside. I just had to know what talent had brought her to the circus. She simply replied, “I’m a narcoleptic tight roper”. “Impossible!,” I thought. She explained to me that as she walks the rope, her narocolepsy kicks in. However, one would think that her feet would give out as her body became limp. This is not the case! “Elgina the Narcoleptic Tight Roper” just keeps on ropin’! It’s the most bizare thing you’ve ever seen in your life. To snap her out of her trance as she reaches the end of the rope, a performer placed in the audience subtly reflects Elgina’s make up compact at her lovely face! It’s brilliant!!! Welcome to our family Elgina! The End-Mavis

Advertisements

Sawn in Half, Part II

11 May

Now you all of you dedicated Mavis fans may recall a tale of a young lady by the name of Beatrice encountering her fateful and unfortunate death by being sliced into two at the hands of a maniac named Tom. It was a sad day for us all a the circus. We all were very fond of our dear Miss Elmore. After that very dismal event, we laid Beatrice’s cold corpse to rest in a modest yet adequate cemetary nearby. I said a few sentimental words about her and our first fateful encounter at that coffee shop. The Siamese Twins shared a handkerchief and as soon as they tossed it into her grave, we began piling the dirt on top. We thought we’d never see our dear Miss Elmore again. Boy were we wrong! Weeks went by. It seemed like an eternity. We had set up camp in Pau, France and the postman rapped on my door the second day of the circus. I was surprised. I don’t usually get mail since we’re a traveling troupe. It was a small pink envelope with no return address. I carefully opened it. Inside was a letter that read as follows:
Dearest Mavis Rose,
I didn’t know who else to contact. I have been kidnapped by a band of gypsies. They replaced me with my doppleganger weeks ago. I am so afraid! Please help me! I am in a small town in Texas called Paris. Sincerely, Beatrice E.
I was flabbergasted! Our dear Miss Elmore was still alive! I ran to tell everyone else! They could hardly believe it. But I showed them the letter. We had to get to Texas… and fast! So, Juniper and I hopped the next plane to the United States!!! It wasn’t too difficult to locate a band of dirty gypsies in a small Texas town. We just asked a bunch of rednecks, and they pointed us in the right direction. Juniper and I wanted to avoid confrontation. So, in the middle of the night, we stole our Beatrice back! She was elated with joy! We brought her back to the circus, and everyone was overjoyed with laughter!
The End, Mavis Rose Sinclair

Adelaide The Magnificent

6 May

A long time ago, I met this lady who taught me a thing or two about the circus.  I don’t know why I’ve never mentioned her to ya’ll before, because she’s a pretty important character.  You see, this gal is very knowledgeable about the circus.  In fact, she has taught many of our performers secrets that have improved their talents imenseley!  When I first started dealin’ panties, I got a little discouraged about my act.  I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with my life.  And my wooden leg had become somewhat of a burden on me.  I took a year off from the circus about four years ago.  Did I ever tell ya’ll that?  Well, I did!  I wasn’t sure what I was going to do next.  Then, I remembered something that this lady had told me… She said, “Mavis, I think you and Gertrude have real potential.  You should use your friendship to your advantage.”  When that popped in my head, I knew what I had to do!  I went to Ms. Adelaide and sought some advice.  Now, she herself was a master of circustry.  If I told you what she did, you wouldn’t believe me anyway.  Oh, all right.  Her act consists of spinning a web like a spider in front of a live audience… Adelaide is like “the human spider” they say…  she weaves a tangled web of golden yarn… Suspense builds as the drums roll.  The grand finale is when… with one graceful swoop of her arms she untangles the yarn__ and like a cat’s cradle between two hands she reveals a perfectly orchestrated diarama of constellations that spell out:  “Adelaide The Magnificent!”  We still don’t know how she does it.  It looks like some kind of parlour trick.  Anyway, I went to Adelaide for advice, and she suggested that Gertrude and I start up an act.  It was she that really coached us, molded us and refined our act.  We simply wouldn’t be the Gertrude and Mavis we are today without her!  To boot, I would like to take this opportunity (as it is long overdue) to thank Ms. Adelaide.  Thank you Adelaide The Magnificent.  Without the initial nudge in the right direction and the last three years of guidance, who knows where Gertrude and I would be?  Love, Mavis, Juniper, Gertrude and Hilari  😉