Archive | July, 2010

Iambic pentameter via Mavis!!!

26 Jul

May I compare thee to a circus day?
Thou art more sexy and more temperate:
Your tits do shake the darling buds of May,
And Summer’s heat hath all too long a date:
Sometime too hot the ass of hippo shines,
And oft’ is her gray complexion dimm’d;
And hippo trainer Mave sometime decides,
By chance performer’s changing act desired:
But this hot ass Summer shall melt us
Could kill hippo trainer best in the South?;
Or shall kill our Mavis Rose wanderest in her glory days,
When her Hippo bond has grown:

So long as Mave can breathe, or work the ring,
So long lives Mave, and is hippo trainer she!

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Hippo Haikus

23 Jul

Haiku #1
Gertrude is snoring
Hippo trainer needs some sleep
Duct tapes hippo’s mouth
Haiku #2
Lonely old lady
Hippo lovin old lady
Snuggles with Gertrude
Haiku #3
Hippo shares the bed
Gertrude drools on her pillow
Mavis does not care
Haiku #4
Gertrude’s ass is huge
Hippo is a big bed hog
Mavis rolls off bed
Haiku #5
Hippos have bad breath
Mavis can’t stand it
Gertrude does not floss

Love Mavis Rose Sinclair

P.S. Gertie, I love you!

Siamese Twins Menage a tois

20 Jul

It’s not easy being me. Everyone thinks this circus gig is easy peasy. I have news for you!!! Because I am a circus-gypsy veteran and have been a part of this circus longer than anyone else, people are always coming to me for advice about this and that. It seems that Miss Rose is the queen of the roost these days; the “circus matriarch” per say. It kinda has a nice ring to it don’t it? It’s as if I am the hippo queen; the leader of this maniacal monarchy.
For instance, the other day the Siamese twins came to my trailer. “Mavis dahling, can you fix this little problem we’re having?” I don’t work miracles!!! You won’t believe what they asked me. It seems that being joined at the hip has its downfalls. Although the twins have a lifelong friendship, a sense of comradery and a duty to stick with the other at all times, there are some disadvantages too. This time they were fighting over the same man, but refused to share him. I always assumed they were doomed to a lifetime of menage a tois. Most people wouldn’t complain about that! In fact, a lot of people only dream about hittin’ the hay with more than one lover.
But put your self in their shoes. If every time was a menage a tois, you might lust to have your lover alone.
There is something to say about a passionate one-on-one tango in the sack with your lover. It’s intimate, special… But the Siamese twins will never have that luxury. I thought about what they pleaded for assistance.
Solutions? Roll the dice, flip a coin, place a bet. I just told the ladies that they needed to work out the boy fight between the two of them. However, I made some suggestions. Share. Get a divider to make the other’s love-making less noticeable from the other side of the bed. Eye masks and ear plugs. These were the only pragmatic suggestions that I could come up with at the moment. And yes, they left in a huff without the ultimate solution that they sought from yours truly. I’m not Mother Teresa people! I don’t have all of the answers. If you need some advice, I will gladly give you my opinion. However, just because I am a seasoned circus gal, it does not mean I can solve all of your problems. To boot: I don’t mind your inquiries, but I make no guarantees. Sincerely, Mavis Rose Sinclair

Confessions of a Slutty Hippo

11 Jul

Today I was innocently lounging in my abode reading a cheesy crime novel that I’ve already read a thousand times when there was a loud rap at the door! I wasn’t expecting company so I was scantily clad and very cozy where I was laying at the moment. Reluctantly, I hobbled to the door and poked my head out. Oh! It was just trampy Gertrude. She wanted to “come inside”, because she “had important business” to relay. I let her in. As usual, her fat ass barely squeezed through the door… She is a hippo folks!
I quickly revisited the nest of pillows I had been inhabiting and she plunked down onto the floor.
The conversation ensued immediately. It went something like this:
Gertrude sighed.
I looked at her intently, with frustration building behind my gaze.
Gertrude spilled her guts.
The truth is… hold onto your hats people!
The skanky pachyderm never was pregnant in the first place!!!
The second she told me this, I could feel my blood pressure rising. My ears were burning hot.
Her reason?
She needed a fucking vacation!
Well if the girl needed time off, she could have just asked.
I was so pissed off that I demanded she leave immediately.
I must say though, that out of all of that, it is nice to know that I will have Gertrude back in the ring with me.
Maybe I’ll give her an extra brutal lashing with my wooden leg at the next show. -Mavis

Glam-Rock Bearded Dreams!!!

9 Jul

In my dream last night I took a bubble bath with bearded man. There were luminous bountiful bubbles bouncing this way and that. It was wild! I haven’t taken a bath in years!!! (My wooden leg gets waterlogged.) But the lovely bearded man seduced me into the frothy tub. It was absolutely lovely.
Squeaky clean, the bearded Adonis lead me to a giant room filled with cakes, tarts and anything else a hippo trainer’s sweet tooth could desire. Seated around this table were all of my best friends and closest family.
The lovely bearded man pulled out a chair for me at the head of the table, (of course). Everyone greeted me with smiles and hellos.
All of the sudden, there was a loud crash of symbols! A cacophony of music chimed and boomed from all directions. When I looked around the room. There were so many costume-clad performers surrounding me! Once they were in there place, they each stood as still as soldiers. Then, I heard a whistle! It was simply amazing! A decadently dressed man appeared in the gap between the frozen performers. He looked marvelous!  A lush tailored costume and freshly painted make-up brought to mind glam-rock performers of the 1970s. This man’s face was painted entirely white and his eyes and lips were heavily decorated with bright color and glitter. It was as if he were wearing a mask. Like a gentleman should, he took my hand, kissed it and told me this was all for me.
“Let the dance begin!”
With a swooping wave of his arms the music, singing and dancing commenced!
It was gorgeous!
That is how my dream ended.
I tell you. This is a true dream. I wish I knew who the bearded man and the masked glam-rock man were.
Oh well. -Mavis

I Am Not Your Burger Slave

5 Jul

Mavis speaking. Remember how I relayed to ya’ll that I had become a nasty ole burger flipper? Well, those days have come and gone like the tide. This week was supposed to be my first week so I went in to get my schedule. You know what that asshole boss did? First of all, he hadn’t posted the schedule until 2am! How unprofessional is that? And then he yelled at me because I asked him a question. I assumed that if this is how I was gonna be treated even before I had started workin’ there, I’d better high-tail my ass outta there before it got worse. I know what ya’ll might be thinkin’. You need a job! We’ll I know that. I’d rather be broke than be a burger slave to some Fascist assholes! So that’s my story. I’m gonna find a way better job, you’ll see!

Edie Mae Attracts More Men Than Usual

3 Jul

It was a seemingly usual day at the circus. People meandered in and out of the tents, chomped on candied apples, melted cotton candy in their mouths and crunched popcorn. The sky looked like a baby blue pillow with white fluffy stuffing billowing out of the torn spots. The menagerie animals were all orderly in their cages awaiting their shows and I was anticipating a high-energy performance with the stand-in for Gertrude, (pregnant hippo-hoochie). But, something was amiss . Over at Miss Edie Mae’s tent there was an incredible line flowing out of the door. Edie usually does get a lot of attention from the boys. However, I had never seen such a line trailin’ out of the tent! Out of sheer curiosity, I hobbled over to see what the raucous was about. By the time I got to her tent, the line had gotten even longer!!! It was incredible. I tapped one of the guys on the shoulder, “Excuse me sir, what is all this about?” He told me that word had gotten around that Edie Mae was the best titty dancer around these parts, that she was simply amazing and that every man would desire to set eyes on her gorgeous hour glass figure. Sure enough, each man that came out of the opposite door had a grin on his face as wide as the Nile. And oh boy! Edie made a mountain of tips that night! It was quite unexpected too! She was elated! I am so happy for you Miss Mae…
You are amazing and deserve the best in the world!
Love, your best friend, Mavis Rose!